Express yourself

Feelings are personal, you can't change them or decide what they should be. In that sense there's no right or wrong, but how you express them could sometimes be a challenge.

In todays society there's a fear of speaking one's mind without any knowledge about the receiving end. The repercussions could be harsh, sometimes scary if what you say is taken the wrong way, and this is more common now than ever since there's so much polarization in society everywhere.

Although anyone could be the target of hatred and threats if they have a different opinion, women are particularly vulnerable preferably when it comes to social media where people often are anonymous and therefore can express their hate freely.

Politicians and journalists are often severely exposed, which is very serious and threatens our democracy. If you are a female, it makes matters worse. 

But now I strayed from the core of the subject of this post a bit. It wasn't meant to be about expressing your opinion among the general public, but more about how one's thoughts and expressions are received in your immediate surrounding, especially when you have an invisible or hidden illness.

If I express happiness I immediately get suspicions of faking my illnesses, if I express how I really feel, I'm tiresome and whining and people are hurrying to change the subject. If I express engagement, political or in whatever, I get the same reaction as I get with happiness, and if I show no interest in the latest gossip or what everyone is talking about att the moment, I'm really boring or giving the impression of only wanting to talk about myself.

These are the reactions I've been getting, not from everybody, but from the vast majority. Since no one have had the courage to tell it straight to my face, I've only heard it from good friends, the one's who have had interest enough and time to really listen and get to know about me.

It's obvious that I should just be sad and unhappy all the time, never talk about how I really feel, just lie and say that all is okay and of course not have any energy left for any interests or engagement whatsoever....

I'd think that no one else but people with invisible illnesses is treated this way, with suspicion, questioning or disguised disinterest.

Well, I refuse to change who I am, a good-humored, cheerful, engaged person with (or despite) a bunch of chronic illnesses.

So please tell me, how I should behave and express myself socially to be accepted and someone you

can speak freely with.. because I really don't know...

XOXO