Gotta slow down

I’m not just chronically ill, I’m chronically optimistic too, and that’ has been my no 1 survival skill so far.

I've been knocked down by one diagnose after another a few times in life, but every time I've bounced back more stubborn than before, determined to keep on living my life as before with some adjustments of course, and my optimistic personality have helped me do that.

But there comes a time when you have to slow down, catch your breath and have a serious conversation with yourself about how you really feel, body and soul.

Are your efforts really worth it? Does the stress affect you? Do you have time to do the things that makes you happy or is there not enough energy left?

I’ve come to a point when I realize that even if my work is very important to me, I really need to listen to my body a bit more. I’m running out of energy faster and faster nowadays, and it’s kind of pathetic when I’ve manage to do something that for most people is quite easy, but makes me feel so proud of myself that I almost expect applause afterwards...lol..

Like when I managed to set up the roof for the garden pavilion the other day. 36 buckles and straps, all of them placed above head height ...the thing is that I have difficulty stretching my arms especially high and I'm also equipped with fumbling, rheumatoid fingers. But with a donkey's stubbornness and several pauses I finally got the darned roof up. I was completely exhausted afterwards and the pain in my shoulders, arms and fingers were no joke, but I was immensely proud. Not a single applause was heard, but I think I deserved at least a thumbs up.

Need I mention that nothing that demanded arm strength was done the day after?

So I really need to begin to choose my battles and also to allow myself to take a day off work when my body demands one. Nothing is so important that it is worthwhile to increase the pain or waste valuable energy.

That's the sad but true life of a chronically challenged person. All that's fun hurts....

So now I'm going to park my butt in the garden pavilion and enjoy a cold beverage...

It’s 30 degrees Celsius and the scorching sun is relentless, but at least there's some shade under my pavilion roof....Yay!

XOXO