Trapped
My multi diagnose runs in cycles and usually the different diagnoses create problems individually, one at the time. But sometimes they gang up on me several at once and at those times I just become really down and depressed. Right now it's one of those occasions, so this will be a sad post with a substantial dose of self-pity.....just sayin'....
I'm trapped in my own body.
I used to like my body once, it used to support me through all possible activities and weird movements. Now it's just a shell, a stiff, aching and partially numb shell that makes it hard to move at all sometimes. I hate it dearly.
Inside I’m still that person who loves to take walks, working in the garden, make handicraft, renovate and paint etc. But no one knows or sees that now, they only see an overweight, middle-aged lady wasting the rest of her life away in a comfortable chair or TV-couch, unwilling or unable to move and not exactly in the mood for socializing.
Lately I’ve experienced a lot of trouble with my legs and feet due to my diabetic neuropathy. Although I’ve lost much of the sensation in my feet, they ache and are very sensitive to pressure which makes it difficult to walk or even have shoes on. A couple of days ago my spinal stenosis decided to pinch the ishcias nerve so now I can hardly walk at all.
The nerves in my lower back are more or less pinched all the time because of the spinal stenosis, but sometimes it's the ischias nerve that gets all the pressure and it's the worst one when it comes to pain and how it affects the legs.
So at the moment there are two conditions that causes great pain and makes it nearly impossible to walk, and on top of that is my diabetes very unstable in terms of my glucose levels and causes a lot of unwanted and unpleasant peaks and dips.
But my arms and hands still work (aside from the pain and stiffness from my RA) so I'm still able to write a blog post once in awhile.
I'm painfully aware of the fact that my posts has been really dreary lately, and I'm sorry about that....Hopefully my next one will be a bit more on the positive side.
I used to like my body once, it used to support me through all possible activities and weird movements. Now it's just a shell, a stiff, aching and partially numb shell that makes it hard to move at all sometimes. I hate it dearly.
Inside I’m still that person who loves to take walks, working in the garden, make handicraft, renovate and paint etc. But no one knows or sees that now, they only see an overweight, middle-aged lady wasting the rest of her life away in a comfortable chair or TV-couch, unwilling or unable to move and not exactly in the mood for socializing.
Lately I’ve experienced a lot of trouble with my legs and feet due to my diabetic neuropathy. Although I’ve lost much of the sensation in my feet, they ache and are very sensitive to pressure which makes it difficult to walk or even have shoes on. A couple of days ago my spinal stenosis decided to pinch the ishcias nerve so now I can hardly walk at all.
The nerves in my lower back are more or less pinched all the time because of the spinal stenosis, but sometimes it's the ischias nerve that gets all the pressure and it's the worst one when it comes to pain and how it affects the legs.
So at the moment there are two conditions that causes great pain and makes it nearly impossible to walk, and on top of that is my diabetes very unstable in terms of my glucose levels and causes a lot of unwanted and unpleasant peaks and dips.
But my arms and hands still work (aside from the pain and stiffness from my RA) so I'm still able to write a blog post once in awhile.
I'm painfully aware of the fact that my posts has been really dreary lately, and I'm sorry about that....Hopefully my next one will be a bit more on the positive side.
Until then I wish you the best in terms of health and wellbeing.
Take care...
Take care...
XOXO
.png)
Comments
Post a Comment